I’m thinking about starting a sea monkey fight ring. It could work. Those brine shrimp are mean and nasty. At the Great Salt Lake here, the perimeter of the lake is filled with tons of dead sea monkeys. I’ll never be convinced that they all died from natural causes.
Sea monkeys appear to be harmless, but as you stare through the magnified plastic on their tank, I swear I can see that they’re carrying weapons, and lots of them. I even saw one of them with some c4, looking to blast his way out of that bowl. I immediately gave them to the neighbor kid.
Where does a brine shrimp get his fins on c4? I don’t know. Probably on the streets underneath the water. I know you think I’m nuts, but I saw ‘Splash’ and ‘Aquaman’ so there must be a civilization down there. In fact, when I was a kid, I swear I saw one of my sea monkeys holding a sign that read ‘Please Save Our People’.
I remember thinking, “You are so funny, little monkey. Everyone knows that brine shrimp aren’t people.” That one was just wacky. Still, every time the wind blows just so, I smell the stench of all of the dead sea monkeys on the beach and I feel guilty for not trying to help back then. I think the biggest problem was I was seven years old and lived in California. How could I help then? I thought about telling my parents but they had already been threatening to put me in the looney bin after I rescued all of the dogs in the neighborhood by setting them free.