They’re Tracking Me!!!!!

I’m certain I’m being followed. Every time I turn around I see someone in the shadows. I called the cops, but they refused to even check it out. Hey, just because they’re my dogs doesn’t mean it doesn’t freak me out.

Don’t get me wrong, I love our dogs. It’s just that I can’t begin to understand what they’re thinking. I see them huddled together by the fireplace and I swear I can hear them whispering to each other, no doubt plotting the perfect time for a coup.

I understand the reason for it and I can’t say that I blame them. After all, I feed them nothing but dry dog food. I also think that they hate me for staying indoors while I force them to ‘do their business’ in the snow and in frigid temperatures. I think I would want to rebel if Heather treated me that way.

She doesn’t feed me dry dog food, but when she’s home she does make me ‘do my business’ outside too. I don’t think that’s fair. In fact I’m thinking about joining the rebellion, if they’ll have me. In the meantime, if something should happen to me, tell the police the dogs did it. Now, which one is the leader?

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