I learned that when your wife asks you, “How can we save money on our utilities?”, don’t say, “You could start by not burning dinner every night.” Those cast iron skillets really do hurt.
My Mother-in-law can’t cook. She can nuke food, order in or dine out. When I say she can’t cook, I’m talking about the court ordered ban. Last Thanksgiving she got more people sick in one day than the West Nile Virus did the entire year.
I really don’t cook well either. I once built a small brick fire pit using bricks made from meatloaf that I ‘cooked’. It’s really not my fault. I get distracted quite easily and forget that something is in the oven. Last month I told Heather I was going to bake some potatoes. She said, “I’ll call 911 now.”
Seriously, I can boil eggs perfectly. It only took me six months to get it right. I can make a decent omelet, but I sometimes get a little crazy with ingredients, so if we ever invite you to come over for omelets, you are hereby warned.