I am absolutely certain that my dogs can understand English perfectly and are using their clever ‘doggy’ language to plot the overthrow of our household government. They want more meat content in their Iams. I need to let Heather, our leader, know at once!
I don’t think they’ve thought this through. First of all, they’re Toy Schnauzers who are getting up in years. Granted, that gives them wisdom but one only has seven teeth and the other sleeps at least 18 hours a day. They will probably make their move in the middle of the night when we’re pumped full of medicine and completely zonked out.
That’s when most coups occur due to the element of surprise. They could bind our hands and feet with their little doogie zip ties, rendering us captives. Then they could raid the refrigerator and use our debit card at the grocery store to get more supplies. I’m pretty sure they would begin to feed us two bowls of Iams nuggets and some water.
Since the coup has yet to take place, I think our only chance is to hire a police dog to infiltrate them by going undercover. I’ve placed several calls, but no one has returned them. We must stop them. Sammy, the eldest, will probably take Heather’s place at work using a mask so the money keeps coming in. I’m afraid. Suggestions?