Get Away From My Car!!!!

Many people have car alarms but few pay attention when they sound because they go off by themselves so often. Mine is different. I hook up a very strong electric current to the drivers side door handle. I’ve only been electrocuted 37 times.

I remember early car alarms that used to yell, “Move away from the car!” a couple of times. The problem was that it was quite amusing so I would make it go off several times. I thought it was pretty funny and not once did the car owner even show up.

I think the best car alarm would be a parrot. Teach it to say things like, “Hold it right there, dirt bag!” Or, “You’ve got exactly five seconds to get out of here before I blow your brains out.” Of course that would only work at night. During the day, you put a life size dummy in the driver’s side.

I say the more creative, the better. Why not get a couple of rubber rattle snakes and put them on the seat and put a sign on the window that says, ‘Beware of rattle snakes”. That should ward off any thief except a snake handler but I’ve never heard of one of those people stealing a car.

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5 thoughts on “Get Away From My Car!!!!

  1. Hi, Jerry, This is Ron Skelton. Just wanted to let you know a couple of funny things that happened at work at Home Depot today. First, we got our checks for the twice yearly bonus today. It was much lower than previous bonuses, so when I got mine, I said, “Now I can go to the movies!” . And another employee quipped, “Yeah, but you can’t buy popcorn”. And later, when we had the “Closing meeting” , I was sitting in a chair, and when I stood up to do the stretching exercises, the chair scraped across the floor, making a noise that sounded like a massive explosive fart. I quickly said, “That was the chair, not me.” That got a good laugh. Just wanted to let you know. Comedy Rules! Ron,


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Noah, my brother, very funny stuff! Made me really laugh. Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I’ve had some health issues, as you know. Surgery tomorrow. I love hearing from you, Ron. We’ll always be brothers. Jimmy


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