14 years ago today, I started an airline called ‘Stealth Airlines’. I sold a lot of tickets for about a week, claiming my planes were invisible. I’ve hidden out in the Bermuda Triangle since then. It seems like people can’t take a joke anymore.
I don’t believe that the US has an extradition treaty here so it’s the perfect place to hide. There are lots of people here. Confused, but they’re here. Everyone said that Randy Quaid lost his mind and was hiding somewhere in Canada. Not true. I had dinner with him last night. He wore the same white sweater with the black dickie from ‘Christmas Vacation’.
We had a blast until Amelia Earhart walked up to our table and threw a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon on his sweater and then stormed off. I asked him why she would do that. He said, “I don’t know. Every week at random times she does the same thing.” I know! Weird.
Sometimes I wish I could go home because I want to upgrade my phone, but I still have a lot of money, plus for some reason, FREE WI-FI! I’m pretty sure I’d get arrested the minute I stepped back on American soil. So I’ll just hang out here with my friends. Tonight I’m dining with the cast members of ‘Lost’ and ‘Gilligan’s Island’.