I Sprained My What????

Friday night, after returning home from the Real Salt Lake futball match, I had to keep putting ice under my tongue because it hurt pretty bad. I know! Turns out I sprained it by yelling so much during the match. I’m just lucky I didn’t break it.

I’ve yelled plenty of times at sporting events. Most of the time I get kicked out of the park because there are very few professional teams to watch. So I tell at the kids. I heckle. No swearing, mind you, just very loud and obnoxious. People are always trying to find out which kid is mine. I always tell them it’s none of their business. Heh, heh, heh.

I once did it at a bowling alley. Just yelling at random people during non-proffesional events. It’s easy to tell who they are because they have their names printed on the front of their shirts. Who does that when you’re not at work? Do they forget each other’s name?

In any event, all Utah bowling establishments have active restraining orders against me. Light weights. Can’t take a little heckling? They think nothing of going to one of my shows and trying to heckle me. Anyway, if I did break my tongue I would end up looking like ‘Flick’ from ‘A Christmas Story’. Ouch and no thanks.

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