Since I set my GPS to a female voice, every time someone insults her intelligence, I am deeply offended and become incredibly defensive. I even punched a friend in the face because he wouldn’t stop.
On Friday night, Heather and I attended our first Major League Soccer match. Neither of us remembered exactly how to get there so I input the name of the stadium in my trusty GPS. She soon began giving directions, which my wife chose to ignore. She even insulted the GPS.
She said “That stupid thing is sending us the wrong way.” I told her that the device always chose the fastest way to get to the destination. Heather said, “Well she didn’t choose this one right. I said, “Maybe, but you’re not aware of traffic conditions.” She said, “Neither are you.” I said, “No, but she does.”
As we entered the ill advised freeway, it was completely jammed up. Since I wanted neither a divorce, fight or any sort of punishment, I didn’t say a word. I did look out my window and smiled some. I will say that Heather stuck to her route and the traffic did lighten up and we made it in plenty of time. I’ll call that one a tie. To myself.