Jerry Mabbott's Blog

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Therefore applesauce everyday should keep all drunk doctors away.

Typically, you wouldn’t think a physician would come to work after a bender but the odds are some of them do and I think they’re all mine. I know! It took a host of the best doctors in their field to diagnose this disorder I have. And it really shouldn’t have been so difficult, because I’m nuts.

That is the clinical term for it. The Latin term is ‘insanus’. There are only a few ways to treat it. One involves a cocktail of medications, another would be therapy but I think my best option is a frontal labotomy. I think I’ll go that route because then not only will I not care, I’ll remember nothing. Sweet!

I wonder how many surgeries are botched because Dr. Schnapps had a little bit to much hooch the night before. And doesn’t that sort of thing cause your hands to shake a little? I have shaky hands, but I’m not a doctor or a surgeon. I’m an entertainer with a serious tremor. I could never perform that job. But I would be one heck of a gynecologist.

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