Seriously? Dude, She’s Ugly!!!

Last week I met a guy at a neurology clinic. He kept telling me how beautiful his girlfriend was. He pulled her picture up on his phone and I said, “Wow! You should see my wife.” He asked if she was beautiful too. I said, “Yeah, but she’s also an eye doctor.”

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. That’s mostly true, but especially for the blind or ‘Shallow Hal’. I would think that the worst part about being blind and marrying someone hideous would be somehow regaining their sight and realizing what they’ve done. Now there’s some stress for ya.

Or the all time classic – the ugly baby. No one thinks their baby is ugly. No one. So what do you say to mask the incredulous look on your face while the parents anxiously await your response? Do what I do. After my initial recoil, I always say “I’m amazed! He looks like both of you.”

They’ll take it as a sincere compliment and you can laugh about it later because you nailed all three of them and they have no idea at all. Mean? Maybe, although since they didn’t know, funny trumps mean. Karma is real, however. If anyone ever said that about my kid, I’d throat punch ’em.

2 thoughts on “Seriously? Dude, She’s Ugly!!!

  1. LOL. Good ones. It’s hard to stick to “If you can’t say something nice, say nothing at all.” Sometimes people are eagerly awaiting your response. Fake it to you make it, especially with babies. I usually find something cute about all babies.

    My grandma used to say, “I’ve seen better heads on a can of beer.” I remember the library janitor where I worked was always talking some kind of smack. But sometimes he’d say very funny stuff like, “I once met a girl who had one tooth, one tooth! She looked like a can opener!”

    Liked by 1 person

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