You Crossed The Line!!!

Some practical jokes can get out of hand. I started yelling set up lines at my neighbor. Then about an hour later I’d yell the punch line. He laughed every time. The last time, though, he didn’t laugh so I shot him. The nerve. I’m currently honing my prison gang set list.

Sometimes people don’t get my jokes. I always blame them, naturally, because all of them are funny! Every single one of them! If you don’t get them then you weren’t partying attention and I NEED THE ATTENTION! Heather never laughs at my funny stuff. The most she’ll say is “Wacka Wacka.”

Here’s an example: of you paint two walls yellow and two walls blue in a room and install a green light bulb, when you turn on the light, would the room disappear? I know! Hilarious, right?? Or when I say, “Do psychics use call waiting?” I realize that no one uses the term anymore, especially millennials, but if they really thought about it, it would be gut wrenching funny!

I used to love to do impressions. Bill Clinton, Tom Brokaw, Jack Buck and Hank Stram, Walter Brennan, Strother Martin… See? I’m sure you didn’t get the last couple of names., but the impressions are spot on! The least an audience could do is YouTube some older entertainers if they’re going to see an older guy who does impressions. Very rude, if you ask me.

Want to see my impressions? Click here!

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