I Don’t Like You!!!

The perfect lines to use if you don’t want a second date, preferably right before you speed off after dropping her off; “I’ve had a great time! Unfortunately, it wasn’t with you.”

I know! Very cruel and cowardly but it works as long as she doesn’t know where you live, work or your favorite hangouts because if she knows any of that information she will track you like a bounty hunter and beat you like a pináta.

If the date is not going well, you can also use a different name for her in every single sentence. Everyone hates that. When she corrects you, just say, “Whatever”. These techniques can also be used by the ladies too, but an equally effective way is to stand suddenly yelling, “I can’t believe you slept with my sister!”, throw water in his face and storm off.

I know what you’re thinking. Honesty is the best policy. I couldn’t disagree with you more. Survival instincts must be employed immediately. Otherwise a second date is likely to occur and then another and another. Eventually you will get married, have children and then what?

So much better to always have plenty of sick time on your job so you can hang out in the mountains for a while. Trust me because I, um, have heard that it works well.

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4 thoughts on “I Don’t Like You!!!

  1. Being dreadfully British and thus not wishing to upset or make a scene, I would suggest talking about economic theory throughout the entire second date. This allows the other person to politely suggest you go away and for you to graciously accept their point of view. It’s a win-win I tell ya!

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