Get Out And Stay Out!!!

A friend was having marriage problems. He came home to find his luggage packed on the porch. His wife came out and said, “Go away! I hope you die a slow and agonizing death!” He said, “I’m confused. So now you want me to stay?”

Divorces are a messy business. Very seldom does a couple divorce and remain close. Why? Because there’s usually a strong disagreement involving the way money is spent, how the children are raised, religious differences… Oh yeah, and sometimes one or both are dating someone. Dating usually gets in the way of a happy marriage. I know!

There are also addictions that cause the breakup. Thinks like alcohol, meth, opiods, porn, gambling or in my case during one marriage I was addicted to Lucky Charms cereal. I couldn’t get enough. I blew through our savings and 401K just to satisfy my addiction.

Soon the money was gone and I started stealing them from grocery stores. After being arrested 37 times for shoplifting them, I began stealing anything I could from homes just to get money for my habit. I finally went to rehab but my marriage was over. She hated Lucky Charms, I guess.

I’ve been clean for 23 years now. I still go to meetings at least once a week, so that helps. Heather understands because she is addicted to chapstick. There doesn’t seem to be any adverse effects to her addiction, but she gets it. That helps.

Oh how I miss those yellow stars, pink hearts and green clovers.

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2 thoughts on “Get Out And Stay Out!!!

  1. Humour when the audience is nervously wondering ‘Err this is only a joke right?’
    You’ve got to know your stuff to carry that off.
    You carried it off Jerry

    Liked by 1 person

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