50 Grand? Are you kidding Me?!?

A company was having equipment problems and we’re stumped. They called an engineer who could fix anything. He drew an X on the bad part and sent a bill for 50 grand. The owner demanded an itemized bill. The man sent one that read ” fifty cents for chalk, $49,999.50 for the X.

I have a friend who is headed back east to pitch a great idea he has to FEMA. Obviously that’s awesome and I hope they use it. The problem is he’s a government employee. He will no doubt be compensated up to $10,000 extra and received a challenge coin but imagine what he could have made as a contractor.

Before my comedy career took off, I did something similar. I was recruited by Bell South to create a cellular program that would work at the retail stores of the huge companies like Circuit City. It’s called ‘Business Process Re-engineering’, which means throwing everything out and starting all over. I know!

I was the most hated man in the company because everyone was used to working 8-5, Monday through Friday. But I had to turn this public utility into a retail support team. So long evenings. Goodbye weekends. I always checked for a bomb in my car before going home. It took me 2 1/2 years and made many companies billions of dollars.

I had the same problem as my friend who’s pitching FEMA today. I should have done it as a contractor. I would have made millions. Instead I got a promotion, a trip to Chicago (I know!) and a pat on the back. I was such a sap.

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3 thoughts on “50 Grand? Are you kidding Me?!?

  1. I used to encounter a similar thing in the UK Civil Service. Whenever a member of the ordinary lower-grade staff screwed up, they were called ‘incompetent’ and warned about dismissal . Whenever a high ranking member of staff did the same ‘mistakes had been made but lessons learned’ and they were moved elsewhere-possibly upwards. Whenever a contractor screwed up it was ‘Unforeseen problems, which are being addressed’ and a 0 was added to the end of the bill.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It always has been….Although back in the times prior to the 17th century rulers did have an inclination to ‘lop’ off of the heads of contractors…..those were simpler days.

        Liked by 1 person

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