I Can’t Think!!!

As a potential jurist, I was being questioned by one of the attorneys. The exchange went like this: “Own your home?” “Yes” “Married?” “Yes” “How long?” “20 years” “Do you have strong opinions and freely express them?” “Not in 20 years”

I don’t know too many married men who express their feelings honestly and openly. That’s how fights start at home. Well anywhere really, but most certainly at home. There should be an award show for husbands. Best actor, best actor in a supporting role, best choreography (many times we have to dance around a question), best wardrobe (wife approved), etc.

As a comedian of 30 years, I have asked hundreds of men what is their secret to such a long marriage. Most often they said two words, “Yes Dear”. I know! I think it’s true. You can’t be totally honest with your wife and expect a long term marriage. When she asks you a question, it’s best to pause briefly to think about the consequences for every possible response.

Some will really get you in hot water while others will get a far worse response. There is always one answer that will put a smile on her face and that’s the one she wants to hear. “Do you think this roast is too dry?” No matter if it is so dry that you’re having to nearly choke it down, the answer must be, “Not at all, Honey. It’s perfect!” That’s my advice. I’ve tried it otherwise which is why this marriage, my fourth, is so successful.

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