I’m Not Guilty!!!

Robert Mueller’s team raided my home office yesterday. I know! They said it was because I had been playing the card game Spades on my computer which always includes one suit that is trump. I’m going to plead the fifth in Russian.

It seems like everybody on ‘The Hill’ is either getting raided, fired or subpoenaed lately. It’s crazy and the end is nowhere in sight. It all seems to be necessary and opinions are strong. Did the President obstruct justice? I think we need to know the truth once and for all.

They’ll never find anything on MY computer though. I’m really good at encryp… Uh, keeping everything in tact. Not one single item was deleted since I installed the new hard drive two weeks ago. Naturally the old one was shredded. I don’t want my information to wind up in the wrong hands.

Did I receive correspondence from people outside of the United States? Absolutely, but the exchanges were from people in, um, France. And Canada. And the United Kingdom, but that’s all, I swear. Then again I play Texas Holdem with people from all over the globe.

О, черт возьми! Что я сделал ?

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