Jerry Mabbott's Blog

The next time you’re waiting to be seated at a very busy restaurant, try this. Take out your cell phone and pretend to be talking to someone. Very loudly say, “Get over here now! He’s with another woman!” I predict you’ll get a table quickly.

I don’t know why people cheat on their significant other. I understand that people put their relationships at risk foolishly getting drunk and end up lip locked with the wrong person. Just don’t call it a ‘mistake’. A mistake is an accident like not paying attention to the fire and burning the house down.

A mistake, which can prove to be deadly, is scorching your wife’s favorite unreplacable blouse. Note: if you make that mistake, don’t waste time telling her. Instead, run! Run like the wind! Give her some time to cool off. A couple of years will probably do it.

A mistake is eating spoiled komquats. I don’t know anyone who has ever done that but it would still be a mistake. Things we do intentionally are not mistakes. You don’t mistakenly cheat on your taxes or mistakenly call a TSA agent a wanna be cop. They don’t seem to like that very much.

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