I Can’t Believe I Ate The Whole Thing!!!!

I’m so ashamed. 14 years ago I ate the last piece of left over chicken. I was going to blame it on our dog, Mulder, but all he had to do was prove that he couldn’t open the refrigerator, kind of like OJ and the glove. So, I’ve just played dumb all of these years. I’m very good at it.

Wow, do I feel better! It’s like a weight has been lifted from my chest! Obviously Heather knew it was me. The process of elimination is pretty easy when there’s only two people living in the house. No use in trying to spin a web of deceit.

It just feels good telling you what I did. A cleansing of the soul, so to speak. It turns out that the chicken had turned, so it also turned out to be a cleansing of the colon too. Sorry for the visual but I have dedicated my life to warn others about the consumption of spoiled food.

If I can keep just one person from eating stale chips and bad salsa, it will be worth the effort. Or one person who escapes drinking spoiled milk, rancid butter or my mother in law’s meatloaf, I will feel a true sense of purpose in life. You’re welcome.

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