Hit The Breaks!!!!

When I was a teenager I was begging my dad for a car. He said, “You have two legs. What do you think they’re for?” I said, “One for the break and gas and the other for the clutch.” Didn’t get the car.

When I finally got a car I was a maniac. I broke just about every traffic law there was. Going through town at mach II, rolling through stop signs, ditching the cops in pursuit three times. I was crazy and had no business driving a car at all.

I also discovered that many police officers are severely lacking a good sense of humor. One day in Pasadena I was cruising on the freeway doing about 100 mph. I know! This car was crazy fast with a high performance engine and transmission. It ran so smooth it didn’t feel like you were going that fast if there was no traffic.

Suddenly a motorcycle cop came seemingly out of nowhere and pulled me over. The guy walks up and says, “What we’re you readin?”, meaning my speedometer. I said, “Nothing, sir, I don’t read while I drive. That would not be safe.” That was an expensive ticket.

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