Who Cut It Up???!!!

Last night I dreamed that the floors in the house were all overgrown with grass. I’ve been known to sleepwalk and my wife was really mad this morning when she found the carpets shredded and the lawn mower in the kitchen.

I can’t be held responsible for what I do in my sleep. Who knows? Perhaps some night I’ll carpet the lawn. If I use a berber style carpet, I think it would be really awesome. Then again, the HOA and the city would probably force me to remove it. They always seem to ruin my fun.

Like the time I installed a wall with razor wire all around the house and began calling it my compound. We all know that if you have a compound you must also do some crazy things. So I began blasting ‘Me and Julio down by the school yard’ at 3:46 every morning.

They not only made me year down the wall and stop playing the song, but I was also sued by Paul Simon. It’s like people have lost their sense of humor or their tolerance for eccentric (the doctors say I’m crazy but I know we’re not) people like me. I mean, who doesn’t like Paul Simon other than Art Garfunkel? Sheesh.

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