Distracted Driving!!!!!!!

Yesterday we were driving on the freeway and saw a large electronic sign above the freeway that read “70% of all accidents are caused by distracted drivers.” We read it and then slammed into the car in front of us. I guess they’re right.

Distracted driving when I was a young man meant driving by a local strip club and trying to catch a glimpse or kissing your girlfriend while driving. In today’s world there are so many distractions it’s nearly unavoidable. The first mistake was the invention the first DVD player for the car. It was built into the dash board so we could meet our demise while watching our favorite movie.

Someone finally determined that wasn’t such a great idea and created systems that would only play in the back of the vehicle which saves thousands of lives each year because they keep the kids quiet and occupied so the patents don’t go berserk on a long drive. I’m convinced that is why the divorce rate has maintained a solid 50% since the change took place.

So what do we have now to distract us? Or cell phones, obviously although I don’t think the laws prohibiting the use of phones while driving are very effective. We’ve all seen or been the person guilty of texting while driving. Most younger people text with both hands and that’s why they can text so quickly. But is it safe?

I think far more distracting is dining while driving. How many of us get distracted when we have to dip the artichoke leaves in butter? And what if a leaf falls in your lap? Very dangerous. Ok so most of us choose burgers and fries. Still very dangerous.

What if you’re reaching in the bag for the last fry at the bottom? That takes some concentration. I know! And it’s an absolute must that we get it. Even though it’s most likely cold and tasteless at this point, we simply have to retrieve it. The obvious answer to putting an end to distracted driving is to (gulp) outlaw dining and driving.

Sure the McDonald’s and Carl’s Jr’s of the world will be upset when they go out of business, but we’ll be saving lives and that doesn’t even count the heart attack victims that will be spared. I like it. I’ll propose a measure to my congressman but the burger and fry lobbyists are sure to shut it down. You can’t upset the fast food industry. It’s just not good for business, capich?

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6 thoughts on “Distracted Driving!!!!!!!

  1. Yeah, fries are the real danger. A fry will surreptitiously slip down the pant leg and get itself squished between foot and pedal, providing a wonderful lubricant to that when you hit the brake, your foot naturally slips off that pedal and onto the gas one result in what they call, for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Back in the 1970s apparently in the USA it was possible to install into your car radio a device which did the following….when your car exceeded 70 mph the device would cut in and the radio would play ‘Nearer My God To Thee’ .
    In the UK some well meaning company produced a sticker which read ‘If You Can Read This You Are Too Damn Close’…which was a good notion until someone calculated human nature being what it is drivers would unconsciously drive closer to read the sticker!

    Liked by 1 person

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