I’m Such An Idiot!!!

Heather’s birthday is coming up soon. Last year I asked her what she wanted. She said, “Nothing would make me happier than a Cuisinart!” So I got her nothing. Bad move.

Taking what people say literally can be very dangerous. Especially your wife and/or mother in law. Each have a tendency to be pretty sarcastic which can be really confusing sometimes. I had a mother in law once who said some really weird things when the marriage failed.

She was angry with me and said a couple of things I still don’t understand. She said, “She broke her back trying everything she could to please you!” I was stunned! I said, “I had no idea! You should probably go now and take her directly to the hospital! A broken back is nothing to mess around with!” When I came to, they were gone.

Her mother also said, “I can’t believe you put your feet under my table!” I said, “Where did you want me to put them? My Mother taught me table manners so I think it wouldn’t be polite to lean back and put them on top of the table.” I know!

I’ve had dinner at my current in laws house only one time in 20 years. I put my feet on the table and Heather’s mother was really mad and I was never invited back. Women! Who can figure them out?

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