You Stupid Idiot!!!

When Heather turned 30 I ordered 30 red roses, one for each year of her life. That’s what the card read. The florist decided on his own to make it an even three dozen. Heather got the roses and card and didn’t speak to me for three months.

You can’t be too careful when it comes to her weight or age . Every woman in first world countries is paranoid about it except for Jillian Michaels. She’s got this thing nailed. She always looks fit no matter what. And with makeup during commercials, age is never a factor either.

Jennifer Aniston doesn’t look over 40, does she? Makeup and the almighty air brush are miracles for the magic of television and film. My wife doesn’t wear makeup. I know! She never had and I love it! She gets more beautiful with every passing year. Check out this picture and you’ll see what I mean.

What you see is what you get. Awesome. No pretenses, she is who you see. The only thing is that she thinks she’s fat. No one else does, especially me. But she wants to get strain as sashes was in her 20’s. The dilemma is we’re losing weight together. I’ve lost 12 pounds so far but I dare bit tell her because she hasn’t list much, if any. Gotta lay low. Incognito.

I’m not ready to die.

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