What??? I’m Not Invited???

Heather asked me if I knew this would be my last day, what would I do? I said I would spend the day with her, talk to close family and friends, then spend the evening with her. She said she would spend the day in a meadow in the mountains. I said, “What about me?” She said, “You could come along if you want.”

And there it is. Nutshell in perspective. Many comedians and comedy writers have focused on the differences between men and women. I had successful bits about dating and marriage in my act too. The funny thing is that most of it is true. I’m not bashing women; it’s just that ya’ll are crazy. I know!

Sometimes I’ll be sounds asleep and she’ll become furious with me because I do something wrong IN HER DREAM!!! And not just a little mad, like three days of cold shoulder and the silent treatment mad. And I’m such a moron I keep apologizing because I did nothing wrong! Psycho.

I don’t drive anymore due to the illness I have and I’ve learned the hard way to withhold my opinion of her driving skills. For example, she never uses cruise control, which I think it’s awesome. You never get a speeding ticket if you set it to go the speed limit or maybe a few miles per hour faster. She refuses.

Why does she take a hard stance? Because she wants to be in control. I get that, but with advancing technology I keep telling her that she won’t even need to drive in the future. She says she’ll turn it on manual anyway. To me it seems like a lot of fun. For her, not so much.

Perhaps that’s not a psycho thing but the dream anger is for sure.

5 thoughts on “What??? I’m Not Invited???

  1. Too funny, that! I imagined the conversation: “G’morning” “I’m pissed at you” “What? Why?” “You did this thing to me and I’m really pissed.” “I did not! What are you talking about?” “In my dream, in my dream, you did it.” “In YOUR dream? What’s it got to do with me?” “YOU did it.” “Well, yeah maybe, but “I” didn’t actually do that.” “If you hadn’t how could I have dreamed it, huh?” How do you counter that kind of logic?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s how it is.
    A bit like the dread question ‘Does this dress make me look fat?’
    Does any man no matter how steeped in wisdom and experience ever get that one right?

    Liked by 1 person

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