I Can’t Pay My Taxes!

I’m going to vote on my own personal tax reform. No bill, just debate and a vote. I hope I can get it done before the end of the year. It sort of goes like this: I’m not going to pay them anymore. I’m pretty sure it will boost my economy.

I’ve had plenty of clashes with the IRS in the past. Big ones. In the 90’s I was audited on three consecutive years. No kidding. On one of those audits they sent me a letter afterward letting me know that I only owed $50,000. Yeah, 50 grand! I know!

I paid $400 to a tax attorney and got the tax down to a doable $5,000. I still got ripped off, but at a 90% discount. When the fourth year came, they said they were going to audit me again! Right? I had enough. I refused to be studied again.

The agent who spoke with me told me the date and time of my audit. I told her that on that date I would be doing shows in Farmington, New Mexico. She immediately threatened me with being arrested but I was pretty sure they couldn’t legally audit me for consecutive years.

On the day of the scheduled audit, I called to let her know that I was in Farmington. She started yelling at me and telling me I would definitely be arrested. I hung up on her and never heard a thing from them again. I guess I was right about the consecutive audits. Whew! I wouldn’t do well in jail.

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10 thoughts on “I Can’t Pay My Taxes!

  1. Huh! They’ve obviously got no style!
    In dealing with my old H.M. Inspector of Taxes, if you said you were doing a show and could it wait? You would have an audible sigh of relief then someone saying ‘Oh we’ll wait for another 4 weeks then sir,’ and afterwards put the file to one side, glad there one less to deal with for a while.
    (We were gods at moving paper and not getting things concluded, usually to the tax-payer’s benefit!)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Back in he 1970s we were the most cost effective taxation system (no computers, just pens, paper, carbon paper and typists)….OK I’m done braggin’ I’m this close from sitting in a comfy chair, leaning a walking stick and saying:
        ‘Why in my day, by gad sir, we used …….’

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Why is everything government increasingly and suspiciously smelling like a massive scam? I do like Roger’s comment, and he’d know! We need a lot more “Rogers’ ” in gov’mint. As in, Roger Rabbit, Roger Dangerfield… Roger-Roger!

    Liked by 1 person

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