We Don’t Have Any!!!

I think it would be funny if a big box store attracted huge crowds from a black Friday ad but there was fine print saying that they actually had none of the items in stock. Sure there would be bloodshed but it would still be funny.

I’m always amazed at the number of people who wait outside in freezing temperatures to save a few bucks on some item. I know that so many obviously love it. Groups of people form teams armed with walkie talkies and a well thought out game plan. Knowing that the only chance you can get the door buster items is to be one of the first in line, the leader dispatches team members to prime retailers while maintaining constant communication.

These people rival the Navy Seals with their precision plan and execution. Then there are the lost souls who think they can be behind a hundred people in line and still think they have a chance to get one of the hot items. It’s really simple math. If you are there to get one of the computers donning a brand name no one has ever heard of and the ad says there are only 20 available and you’re that far back in line, it’s best to just get some breakfast at Dennys and go back to bed.

Then there are the angry men who show up on Saturday morning and demand one of the door busters only available for the first five hours on FRIDAY. They think that because it’s in the ad and they have a copy of it in their hand they are entitled to the item. Adorable.

Personally, I shop in my pajamas on line. No crowds and I always get what I want. Plus I don’t have to eat at Dennys.

Click here for more than a thousand FREE short and funny blogs!

Someone on your list hard to buy for? Click here!

Connect with me!

  • Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
  • Twitter: @jmabbott
  • Instagram: Jerry Mabbott
  • LinkedIn: Jerry Mabbott

8 thoughts on “We Don’t Have Any!!!

    1. Nah, the shoulder thing wouldn’t work, they’d try to rip it off of you. The way to do it is, you cover the bar in dripping red paint and you keep your saw revved up while holding it with both hands and doing an up and down slashing motion. That, guaranteed, would do it. But then remember, you don’t want just the garden variety Stihl, you want a Husqvarna with at least a 28″ bar like they use in the “Big Woods.”

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t think my wife or children let me even look at a catalogue picture.
        My elder daughter shook her head when I mentioned a powered tree branch pruner.
        I don’t know whether to feel insulted or perversely proud.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s