Stop!!! Thief!!!

I saw a sign in the grocery store that said “Free Range Turkeys” so I took one and headed for the door. The security guards were not amused.

If we all took things literally, every one of us would end up in jail. First there’s the candy in a box that says “Whitman Sampler” but they get really mad when you open the box to sample some. That company needs to change it’s product name.

Any product which includes the word ‘free’ in it should be fair game. If the shoplifter gets to the door before security, they win.

Even special displays that say “Buy one, get one free!” Seems like a choice to me. I’ll take the free one, please and thank you. Even stores which advertise “Free Shipping” are fair game. I think you should be able to bring anything in the store and they’ll ship it free.

There’s all kinds of products with this labeling. Free range eggs, gluten free, hormone free, fat free, msg free, anything sugar free or caffeine free. The one store I think really spells it out well for the customer is Jimmy John’s. They sell sub sandwiches or hoagies, whatever you want to call them. They have signs in the window that actually say “Free Smells”.

I love to go in and when they ask me, “Can I help you?”, I say no thanks, I’m just smelling. Finally, any place of business that displays “Free WiFi” should be able to sign a customer up for free Wi-Fi service at their home. Why would I pay for it when Starbucks offers it for free?

My next blog will most likely be written from a jail cell. They offer free room and board plus an hour a day outside. Sweet!

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13 thoughts on “Stop!!! Thief!!!

      1. But wait, I’m confused. Don’t you have to have a card that states you are a bonafide member of the elitist 1% to qualify for that club discount? In other words, don’t you have to be the neediest of them all, totally unable to pay for a new yacht?

        Liked by 2 people

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