Yesterday I was arrested at a Jimmy John’s Sandwich franchise. When the sign said “Free Smells” I didn’t realize that it was just for the food. That lady was really ticked off!
It really wasn’t my fault at all. They’re the ones who put the great big neon sign in the window, not me. In fact I think I’m going to sue the owners for suggesting the idea. Plus, I only sniffed her hair and perfume, so it wasn’t that intrusive really.
The restraining order the woman filed was completely unnecessary and now not only am I deprived of the Free Smells, I can’t get food there anymore. Not fair. I’m stuck with Subway now, and I don’t really care for them. Well not then personally, just the whole process and the finished product.
Another thing really bothers me about Subway. When you’re being moved down the line like cattle to the slaughter, there is a big “sneeze guard” protecting the food from YOU! I know! The only people I’ve ever seen sneeze are the employee. That sneeze guard is backwards!
One last thing. When I’m asked what I would like, I tell the person exactly what I want. All of it right up front. As I’m moving with the other cattle, the employee asks me, “Do you want this?” I say “No, I want roast beef and swiss cheese. That’s all.” But the kid continues to ask about every item anyway. By the time he is ringing up my lunch I want to throat punch him.
It’s a sandwich. Take my order and make it. Simple. I feel better now. Uh oh, the cops are at my door. Gotta go.
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