A Redneck Walks Into A Store…

I was buying something for Heather last year when I heard a redneck ask a clerk, “Y’all have ladies stockins here? Ah need some fer ma wife.” The clerk asked, “Sheer?” He said “Naw, she’s in differnt store.”

I’m really not making fun of rednecks mainly because most of them could beat me like an egg. Well not exactly. That would require utensils and there would be no need for that. How about “They could snap me like a dried twig.” 

No, I’m overweight so that wouldn’t work either. Ok, “They could hit me like a piñata.”  “Crush me like an empty can of beer.” There ya go. I’m sure you get the point. Two of my children live in the south with their families. They have each picked up a Southern dialect but so far the grandkids in Georgia have not. I’m sure it will happen and I can hardly wait. 

I love the Southern drawl. The grandkids in Mississippi will definitely pick it up. My son has and his wife is from Georgia so I think that’s a given. It makes me mad when people automatically assume that someone with a Southern dialect is not the sharpest crayon in the box. It’s silly. Most are just as smart as anywhere else. 

What they do have going for them that some places do not is hospitality, and lots of it. I think there’s a law that makes it illegal to leave a Southerner’s house without drinking at least two glasses of sweet tea. I love visiting the south. I find it very beautiful and charming. Just the thought of moving there brings tears to my eyes and makes my nose run. The trees, pollen, heat and humidity!! What was I thinking?

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