Pay Per View Eclipse???

I’m stunned by the number of people who actually believe that the eclipse was real. Seriously? The moon almost completely hiding the sun? That’s crazy! Um, I just googled it. That was embarrassing. As you were. 

The hype surrounding the eclipse was much adieu about nothing. If I want it to be dark during the day, I simply close the blinds. On the day of the eclipse I closed the blinds for about three minutes. Same effect without frying my eyes. 

I know it was an important event because thousands of people made the trek west to watch it. I think that was an unhealthy waste of resources for three minutes. Its kind of like the old days of boxing where I talked my friends into paying $45 for a pay per view George Forman fight. “Settle in boys”, I said. “This is going to be epic.” Three punches into the fight, Forman knocked the guy out. 

It was like a Southwest Airlines commercial. “Wanna get away?” My friends were not happy at all. Frankly, I feared for my life. After all, these guys paid to come over and see someone get punched and I think they wanted to get their money’s worth. Fortunately I found my son’s Nerf Gun. Nobody was going to mess with me! When I was released from the hospital I decided no more pay per view. 

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