How Did I Get To Be This Old???

Two really old guys were sitting on a bench. One says, “John, I’m 83 years old now and I’m full of aches and pains.” John said, “I’m 98 and I don’t even need glasses.” The other man said, “That’s amazing!” John said, Yep, now I just drink straight from the bottle.”

I need to make an appointment with the optometrist. I wear strong reading glasses but they obviously do me no good outside. Well I experiment just to see if channeling sunlight through the lenses would really start a fire. My neighbor was furious with me but I told him to chill out. He obviously had fire insurance on his house so he can rebuild. Sheesh. 

I’m really looking forward to getting seamless bifocals so I can see well no matter what I’m doing. Well, obviously not while swimming, sky diving or sleeping, but for everything else. Ok, not for looking at an eclipse either. I think if I did that, my head would explode. That would not be good for me or anyone in close proximity to me. 

Some people have lasik surgery and can see well without glasses. I’ve heard that you can actually smell the burning eye. No thanks. Others wear contact lenses. I’ll do neither. I’ve heard too many stories about people losing one contact and end up walking in circles all day. Although you could wear an eye patch until you get new ones. That would be cool. I guess there are disposable lenses now but with my shaky hands I’m sure I would poke my eye. 

I shouldn’t complain. I had 20/20 vision until I turned 40. Its just that this morning I brushed my teeth with Preparation H. Ugh. 

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