The last time I was in the hospital, the nurse was helping me walk in the bathroom. There was a warning on the toilet that read ‘total weight 300 lbs’. I said, “That’s stupid. Who would want to steal a 300 lb toilet?” She didn’t get it. I thought it was funny.
Some jokes are just funny to the person telling it. I hate it when we’re with friends and I announce, “I have a great joke!” Especially since I’m a comedian, the joke really needs to be funny. I hate the silence when it bombs. Then I try to explain why the joke is funny. Finally Heather says, “Just stop talking now.” God bless her.
At a comedy club, one of the worst things you can do is tell the comics you’re working with that you have a great new joke because if you tell it on stage that night and it bombs, the only laughter you’ll hear is from your comic friends who are laughing hysterically. It’s just what we do. The audience has no idea why the people in the back of the club are laughing so hard at something so not funny.
The best was Johnny Carson. He used to break into the old ‘soft shoe’ when a joke ate it. One of my favorites bombed badly but I thought it was hilarious. Carson said, “Two camels are out in the middle of the desert. One says to the other, “I don’t care what anyone says, I’m thirsty!” Funny, because everyone always says that camels can go for weeks withou… ok, I’ll stop talking.
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