Heather and I argued and weren’t talking to each other. I realized I needed to wake up at 5 am and needed her to take me to the airport. I didn’t want lose so I wrote a note, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” I woke up at 9 am! Then I saw a note on my nightstand that read “Its 5 am. Wake up.”
If you’re a married man, never try to outwit your wife. It can’t be done. Even if you succeed once, you will still lose in the long run. I’m convinced that’s why so many sitcoms feature married couples where the guy does something he thinks is brilliant but it never works out. Everyone can relate.
I gave up a long time ago after getting busted so many times – and still hearing about it today. Its that intuition thing. It’s powerful. Scary powerful. I love hot dogs. They are one of my favorites but they’re not healthy and certainly do not help when you’re supposed to be losing weight.
No matter. On my way home most any day, I would stop at a convenience store and get a hotdog. I would eat it in the car. Sometimes I would forget to get rid of the package and I would put it under the seat to throw away later. It was my car so it was ok. Wrong.
Once in a great while Heather would need to use my car and of course I had long since forgotten about the food wrappers. Busted big time. So I changed my MO. I began throwing them away in the trash outside. Stupid. That didn’t last long. I always took the trash out but forgot that she might have things to throw away too.
So then I did something fool proof! I would throw away the wrapping at the store! Brilliant! Not so much. She noticed crumbs on the seat. I finally gave up. You just can’t win those types of games. Ladies are just too smart and eerily intuitive.
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