Last week I sculpted a statue of myself on a horse. This week I was offended by it so I toppled it over and lit my house on fire.
My neighbors weren’t very happy with my actions because the fire burned down their house too. Its ok though because they’re from the South and that offends me. And we all know that its all about me. Forget the rest of the country, my opinions are the only ones that matter.
I also burned my toast and I will continue to burn everything I can until the country is the way I want it to be. I even burned my tongue this morning drinking burned coffee. I’m in this all the way. I call myself “MABTIFA”. I feel completely justified in my actions because I am a spoiled, entitled brat and I need to get my way.
We’ll see what happens but if the government doesn’t meet my demands, I’m going to start burning s’mores by our fire pit. That will cause my tongue to burn again too. I’m not messing around. I want the fascists gone and I’ll keep destroying myself until they’re gone.
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