I Can Sing!!!

I'm convinced that Elvis Presley is channeling through me but only in the shower or car.

I crack myself up when I'm in the shower and absolutely nailing a song. Then while still singing I step out of the shower and then wow, I'm the worst singer ever.

I don't know why the acoustics are so great in confined spaces, but they are. The real problem is that I take showers longer than I need to just so I can finish the entire song. That costs money so I make certain I'm singing a song I deem acceptable for the money.

I wonder if people like Carrie Underwood or Bob Dylan used to do that. Maybe Underwood still does it. I can only do it when I'm alone because my wife hollers at me to stop making that horrible noise. Terrible noise? How rude. Doesn't she know I've sold out Madison Square Garden in my mind?

I think its important to let people dream their dreams without judgement. When we're around other people its different. I've sung songs in a public forum, but no one offered me a contract. The closest I ever came to that was when a guy offered me a hundred bucks to never sing in public again. I took it. I just sang karaoke in a different place hoping someone else would do the same thing. No luck.

So I'll keep singing loud and proud in the shower until the neighbors call the cops. As far as my thought process goes, I made a hundred bucks singing so now I'm a professional. Take that naysayers!

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