She’s Drunk!!!

My daughter put a tooth under her pillow anxiously to see how much she would get. I forgot all about it. She came to me and said "The Tooth Fairy forgot!" Yikes! I hid a $5 bill in the medicine cabinet and explained that sometimes The Tooth Fairy gets drunk and forgets where she's supposed to leave the money.

Sometimes you have to be creative as a parent. There is so much to remember. Feeding them, clothing them (just kidding, I would never forget to clothe them), birthdays, parent/teacher conferences, school, etc. it's endless. Then there's soccer practice and all of the other extra curricular activities. F'get about it.

I bought each of them a moped and said "knock yourselves out." I finally bought them helmets when my son actually did. Hey, how better to teach your kids self sufficiency than to make them believe they're on their own? I'm kidding of course. I gave them gas money too. And a can opener and convinced them that only the best food came out of can.

Child protective services seemed to disagree with my methods, but the kids grew up just fine. Eric still drags his left foot a little but at least they survived.

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