She Did It!!!

If I'm ever murdered, a one armed woman in Nebraska did it. I’ve never met or heard from her but my gut tells me it's her. Wait a minute, I just burped and the feeling is gone. Carry on.

I’ve mentioned before that we watch a lot of crime movies and tv shows. In the true shows like Dateline or 48 hours or even Snapped… Wait. Snapped is on Lifetime, television for women. I really have never watched it because I never watch programs that are made for women. I swear its true. (Sigh)

In the other shows there are many where the victim either tells a friend or writes in a journal, “If something happens to me, my husband/wife did it.” Somehow it still takes detectives years in many cases to solve the crime, and its always the person pointed out by the victim.

I have a question. If you’re that certain that your spouse is going to whack you, why are you there?? Get out! Go on the lamb. I'm not sure how the phrase ‘go on the lamb’ started and I don’t see how peeing on a sheep will help you hide. You get the idea. If I ever thought that Heather was going to do me in, I’d run like Forrest Gump.

They would never find me. I would hide out in Ted Kaczynski's place in Montana. I’ll need to make some improvements of course. Solar panels for electricity and lots of wood for fires when it gets cold. Oh, and central air in case it gets too hot. I would need a garden and a well. I could hunt every once in a while. I would always come back empty handed, but it would be fun.

I would buy a volleyball so I would have someone to talk to. Crud! I just told you where I would be hiding. Now I have to find another place. Ugh.

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