I’m So Out Of Here!!!

Once I told my boss that he better give me a raise because I was getting ‘heat’ from four different companies. He demanded to know who. I said, “Rocky Mountain Power, Questar gas, Riverdale City Water, and AT&T. It didn’t work. 

I remember the early days in my life when we didn’t have enough money to pay everyone, so we prioritized. Clearly we would need our cellphones because without them we would have to talk to each other. That was obviously off the table immediately. 

In the winter time, we needed gas for sure because we felt that heat was necessary or we’d die and we didn’t want that. Plus we would have hot water. We would charge the cellphones in the car. I guess we could have bought a big generator but we had no money so I would have to steal it. 

I think it would be rather conspicuous to carry a hundred pound piece of machinery out of the store in my pants. I would love to see the security footage for that. It would go viral on YouTube and isn’t that what life is really all about?

In the summer we would go without gas. Our stove was gas and other than stealing fresh food each day, which is much easier than concealing the generator. I had to be very careful with frozen goods because people would wonder why I was walking so fast. Plus I got frostbite in areas you definitely don’t want frostbite. 

I’m so happy we don’t have that problem any longer. Not a care in the wor…. excuse me but someone is trying to repossess my car! Hey, stop!!!

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