I’m not afraid of the dark, specifically. To be more precise, I’m afraid of dark colored cars. I’m sure they’re spying on me all of the time. Even my neighbor just bought a black Cadillac and keeps it in the garage. I still think he’s up to no good. I think I’ll sell it on eBay.
Dark things make me very paranoid, I mean suspicious. I have nothing to be paranoid about and I’m not saying that I am because I’m not. Why would I be paranoid? I have nothing to hide! Nothing!!! So why won’t they just leave me alone??
Not that they’re bugging me, at least in the bothersome definition, but they are no doubt ‘bugging’ me. I’m certain my cellphone is tapped because every now and then when I’m on a call I hear a beep. I’m supposed to think that someone is calling me but I know better. You’d have to get up pretty early in the morning to fool me although I’m really unsure why the time someone wakes up has any bearing on fooling someone else.
Oh, and one more thing. When I turn my wifi on, there is always a signal called ‘FBI Van’. If that’s not proof, I don’t know what is. Ok, I have to go check the iron. I’m sure there’s a camera in there.
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