It’s So Hot…

It’s so hot, I just heard a circus fire eater say, “Come on! Now everyone is doing it!”
I think our founding fathers should have had more compassion and put off Independence Day until October. 

This is crazy! People are sitting outside in sweltering heat (I’m not sure how hot it needs to be to classify as sweltering, but I’m sure it’s close) watching marching bands and fire trucks. 

If I want to see the same thing, I can just have a seizure. I don’t think marching bands show up, but definitely Fire Trucks and police vehicles. People stand and watch as if it were a parade. I think the EMT’s and police officers should give out candy. 

Tonight, while many fires are consuming much of the state, deranged people will set off explosives and fire guns, no doubt causing more fires in celebration of our country’s independence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m as patriotic as the next guy. I just don’t think its the right time of the year. 

I blame Vladimir Putin. Clearly his fingerprints are all over this. At some point he must have hacked into our National Calandar database and changed the date to July fourth. Winter parades? Ah, now that’s what I’m talking about. Actually, I hate them too. Way too cold. Yep, October should be designated parade month. Get them all over with in perfect temperatures. 

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