Ninjas Are Phoney!!!

I got one of those Ninja coffee makers, although not for the spokesperson, Gloria from Modern Family. Seriously, I got it for Christmas and it does live up to it’s name. Ninjas don’t work in the daytime. Ugh. 

I clean the coffee machine fairy regularly, using white vinegar and water. It seems to work well, but my wife hates the smell of vinegar (although she does eat vinaigrette salad dressing) and the vinegar did provide a pretty foul odor for days after. So now I clean it on a table on our deck. 

I’ll bet the neighbors think I’m the laziest guy ever. “Look at him, he’s too lazy to walk in the house to refill his coffee cup.” I just wave. I think I’m going to take our juicer and food processor out too, so can have juice and a snack. 

The neighbor directly behind us, I’m actually not sure the direction of the neighbor is paramount to the story, but that’s where he resides, and lives to make all of us miserable. I’m sure he would call to complain that I was using unauthorized small appliances on my deck. 

I’m not joking. Last year when we had our first fire pit fire, he stuck his head over the fence and said, “Is that really necessary? It’s just not nice.” I went to his house the next day and confronted him. He told me not to worry about it, that he was just a cantankerous old man and to have a fire whenever we want. 

This year we got a new fire pit and had our first fire. He called the fire department. Two firefighters came over and I brought them in the backyard and asked them if we were doing anything wrong. They said no and told us that a neighbor said we were having a bon fire and that embers were getting on his house. Liar and a coward. 

We broke down and bought a gas pit but I think I’ll sneak my old one into his backyard and start a fire in it, then call 911 to report him. That would be funny. 

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Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

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