I Can’t Remember!!!!

Tomorrow, I’ll be 61 years old. There are 3 things that indicate I’m getting older: 1. loss of memory 2.

I’ve heard it said that getting older is not for wusses. I used to firmly believe it. I still believe it, but nothing about me is firm anymore. A lot of people kind of give up on getting into shape at my age. I worked really hard to get into shape and I’m pretty proud of myself. I’m shaped like a pear.

I remember going to “all you can eat buffets” when I was younger, and really getting my money’s worth. Now when I go to one of them, it seems like such a waste, because I can only eat one plate of food. They mock me. I see the younger people in the restaurant and I think, “punks”.

I need to find someone who is willing to switch bodies, like in all of those movies, like ”Freaky Friday”, only with dudes. I don’t think I’d like to switch bodies with a woman. I would have a complete melt down. Makeup, dresses, doing my hair every day, and, you know, all of that other stuff. Plus, I don’t know how to be the boss anymore. I’ve been married too long.

If I could switch bodies with anyone, I think it would be with the guy who works at the La-Z-Boy store. I can’t think of a better job. There is no better way to sell comfort than to be asleep in a recliner as people come in.

Sleep as part of the job description? Count me in! I can sleep with the best of them. I’m that good. I know people who have difficulty sleeping as they age, but I’m fortunately not one of them. I can sleep anywhere  anytime, for a long time. In fact, I’m going to take a nap as soon as I finish this blog.

I guess it’s a bright side of this illness. Chronic fatigue. I refuse to see the downside. It simply means that I get more sleep than the average Joe. I can deal with that. Sleep is good. It helps you heal faster, plus you can have great dreams any time of the day.

I wish we could choose the dreams we have. That would be cool. I could be anything or anyone! And, I could eliminate all of the bad junk that might come with the dream. I could own the Clippers and not be a racist. I could be Donald Trump and shave my head. I could be Dan Marino and actually win a Super Bowl.

In any case, I embrace growing older. I intend to have as much fun as I possibly can. I don’t think I’ll do what is expected of an old man. That would be way too boring. Maybe I’ll sky dive. Heck, maybe I’ll just dive in the ocean. The possibilities are endless. Of course this would all happen during naps. I’m not crazy.

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