How Did I Get Fat???

Scientists say obesity may be caused by bacteria in your stomach. They are ingested by eating cheeseburgers and pizza.

Somewhere between the time I was a kid and now, the American Medical Association decided to change the rules, labeling those of us 20 – 30 pounds overweight as obese. Absurd!

According to their charts, I should only weigh 175 pounds. That’s ridiculous. Several years ago, I dropped 75 pounds and ended up at 185 pounds. I looked and felt terrible. Everyone thought I looked gravelly ill. So, I tried to put on 15 pounds, but didn’t stop. So now I need to lose about 25 pounds.

At 200 pounds, I look and feel well. But according to those stupid charts, I will still be 25 pounds overweight – and obese! Are you kidding me? What am I, a super model? My doctor tells me to avoid the scale and only pay attention to how loose my clothes become. So I think I can avoid dieting by buying bigger clothing.

Diets are ridiculous. My last doctor wanted me to get down to my original weight, but that’s 6 pounds, 5 oz. Insane! That’s why he’s my former doctor.

Dieting is a huge business. There are so many products on the market, all claiming to be the miracle of weight loss. The problem is, many of the so called miracle products have turned out to be completely ineffective or damaging to your health. There just isn’t a magic pill.

Years ago, there was a weight loss product called Aydes. You know where I’m going with this, and I swear it’s true. After the disease got it’s name, the diet company went belly-up.

How could you have a diet plan called Aydes after a horrific disease sounds exactly like your product? Can you imagine being the CEO of that company when he first heard about the disease? WHY AIDS?!?! Seriously, that was the ONLY NAME AVAILABLE?!? I think that guy probably wound up in the looney bin.

A healthy diet and exercise is the best way to get into shape. We all know that. The problem is that even when I get in shape, I’ll still be technically obese. Ugh.


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3 thoughts on “How Did I Get Fat???

  1. Good points. Somewhere in all this is the seed of dark-comedy satire about a society’s obsession with the perfect weight and daily weight checking.
    (On the opposite side of the scale -ooops- in the film ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ there is a nearly off-camera line where two models are talking and one says ‘I nearly phoned in fat today’)

    Liked by 2 people

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