I Have a Jelly Belly!!!

A California woman is suing Jelly Belly claiming she was tricked into believing their candy was sugar-free. She also believes that the SPAM she bought contained real meat. 

The woman said the company’s “sport beans” lists evaporated cane juice as an ingredient instead of sugar. She argues Jelly Belly purposely left the word “sugar” off the label to deceive their customers. The company responded and called the lawsuit “nonsense.” They said the product’s sugar content is clearly listed on labels.

Seriously? She bought Jelly Beans and assumed they contained no sugar? They are intended to boost energy with caffeine and yes, sugar. Here is a copy of the nutrition label:

Hmm, seems to me it’s spelled out clearly. Perhaps the poor woman has lost the ability to read. Or possibly she just took the word of a friend. Who knows? She’s probably looking for an out of court settlement, which she will not receive. My presumption is that she’ll drop the suit and learn how to read nutrition labels. 

This reminds me of the two times I can think of when people filed ridiculous lawsuits against McDonald’s, one blaming their obesity on the fast food chain because they weren’t aware that the food was fattening. Really? It doesn’t take a genius to determine the eating burgers and fries every day might not be the best nutrition choice. 

The other was when a woman spilled hot coffee on her lap after receiving it from the drive through. Apparently the restaurant failed to tell the customer that hot coffee is hot. She received 2.9 million dollars! McDonald’s was ordered to put a warning label on the cups to warn people that their hot coffee is hot. Insane. 

I think I’m going to sue the manufacturer of M&M chocolate coated peanut candy. I’ll claim that I’m allergic to nuts and they should have a warning on the peanut candy that people with nut allergies were not properly warned. Oh, and the chocolate too. I might not realize that chocolate covered peanuts might contain chocolate that can make me fat! Yes, I’ll be an idiotic millionaire!

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9 thoughts on “I Have a Jelly Belly!!!

    1. I get that. As a comedian, I’ve created jokes about SPAM. The bit goes, “I would eat SPAM if I knew where it came from. I guess it is squirrels, possums and mice.” The truth is, I like it.


  1. Watch the documentary Hot Coffee. The 79 year-old woman who sued McDonald’s had SEVERE burns all over her legs that required surgery. McDonald’s was knowingly serving their coffee over the country’s standards. Do some research before the sarcasm.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I want to point out that the coffee incident in question is not as ridiculous as it seems if you actually look into the facts. The problem wasn’t that the coffee was hot, it was dangerously so. At that time McDonald’s kept their coffee so hot that it could cause third degree burns in 3 to 7 seconds. The woman suffered third degree burns that required skin grafts and extensive medical care. Initially she just wanted her medical expenses and lost income covered, but McDonalds refused. That’s why it went to trial. The jury even found that because she was partially responsible, she would receive reduced compensation. It was the punitive damages that were so big. This was due to the fact that McDonald’s had received over 700 complaints about the extreme temperature of their coffee and did nothing about it. She also didn’t receive the nearly 3 million dollar judgement. The judge reduced the award by more than 80%. In the end, to avoid potentially years of appeals, the woman and McDonald’s settled for an undisclosed amount.

    I totally agree that the woman suing for not knowing there was sugar in jelly beans is an idiot, however.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ed, I’m completely aware of the coffee case and actually agree with the outcome. I’m a comedian and I poke fun at so many things, including myself. Anyone who knows the details of the coffee case knows the truth. I do think the award was about a million too high. Thanks for the feedback!


  3. British perspective diplomatic perspective.
    Very hot herbal drinks should be approached with caution.
    I fear that the phrases ‘drive-through’ and ‘hot-coffee’ when put together would give me cause for concern; a high risk factor.

    In the meantime I am going to sue Unilever UK for their healthy range ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’….On the grounds that they are imposing their opinions on me…for….. ‘I CAN believe it’s not butter’. My wife Bless Her prefers me to use this in place of butter, fair enough, but instead of ‘hot buttered toast’ one is treated to ‘hot greasy toast’ which requires all sorts of spreads to make it palatable. Which in turn either cause weight increase or dental damage….Your honour..I rest my case!

    Liked by 2 people

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