Lies From the Whitehouse

When I was young, I learned that George Washington had wooden teeth and that he was so honest that he admitted to chopping down his father’s prized cherry tree. It turns out neither is true. I know! I’m shocked too! It was the first White House scandal. James Comey is now investigating.


According to mountvernon.org, One of the most enduring myths about George Washington is that his dentures were made of wood. It’s quite possible that some of his dentures, particularly after they had been stained, took on a wooden complexion, but wood was never used in the construction of any of his dental fittings.

Throughout his life Washington employed numerous full and partial dentures that were constructed of materials including human, and probably cow and horse teeth, ivory (possibly elephant), lead-tin alloy, copper alloy (possibly brass), and silver alloy.

Really? What a scam and we all fell for it. I think there should be a bipartisan investigation to get to the bottom of it. At the very least, Washington’s body may do prison time. Then we learn that he never admitted to chopping down the cherry tree because no one did! Catherine II, “The Great”, leader of Russia, was possibly in collusion with Washington.

As for the cherry tree incident, there are 33 pages from his childhood journal that are missing. Authorities are searching as we speak. Now I know the Whitehouse wasn’t built until 1800, but who constructed it? Could it have been bugged? Of course it would have been pretty obvious. There would actually have to have a double agent standing in every classified briefing. 

I’m leary of everything since then. I wonder if Martha was the brains behind the desk, so to speak. Did Betsy Ross really create the first American flag, or was it really put together using cheap overseas materials and labor? Don’t scoff. China makes American flags to this day. Questions. So many questions. Was LBJ really behind the assassination of President Lincoln?

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Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

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