Home Invasion!!!

I think someone broke into our house last night! I got up to find the place a complete disaster. The living room was ransacked and the kitchen too. Then I realized my wife has been out of town for a week.

Its always that way. I’m sure many men go through the same thing. The wife takes off and leaves you a honey-do list longer than Lindsay Lohan’s rap sheet. It seems impossible to get it done, so why bother? Pizza boxes everywhere, empty Chinese food boxes, beer and soda cans, 14 empty bags of Cheetos and laundry all over the place. Chaos everywhere.

Then reality strikes! We realize she’ll be home in 5 hours! I know! We suddenly go into a mode that puts the comic book character, “The Flash” to shame. Laundry in the washer, pizza boxes, cans and all empty food containers in the neighbor’s garbage can because you know shell check yours.

You’re sweating like more than OJ at his second trial. Finally you’re finished. The place actually looks great. You are very proud of yourself. You defeated the honey-do list which you’re pretty sure no man had ever done before. You even managed to squeeze in a shower to get rid of the sweat.

Nicely done. She is impressed and just as she’s going up the stairs to unpack she says, “Great work, honey but you left a pair of boxers on the ceiling fan. She knows and giggles all the way upstairs. Well, regardless of the ridicule you will undoubtedly take for years to come and the snickers from the friends she’s told, I think you would get a high five from most of your friends. You came so close. So close…

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