Seriously??? The toilet???

Last night someone broke into our house and among other things, stole our toilet! Yes, the toilet! We are working with the police to find the culprits but we have nothing to go on. (insert rim shot)

Nobody likes to talk about toilets but to me they are very interesting. There are so many designs, makes and models. You can get them in a variety of colors but most people still choose white. Why? Who knows. I’ve seen black toilets and those are cool. Do I own one? Nope. White as a bleached egg.

I really don’t know if eggs are bleached or not, but the white ones are really white! Perhaps they bleach the feathers of the chicken and that’s how it happens. I don’t know. I’ve never raised chickens to sell their eggs. In fact I’ve never even raised one single chicken. A few married ones but not one single chicken. Sorry. I lost my mind for a minute.

We’ve come a long way from the days of the outhouse. That’s good for us but many people in other countries dont have running water to their home so they still use an outhouse. Why are they called outhouses? They were used before indoor bathrooms were built so they couldn’t really be referred to as “out of the house” bathrooms. I’ll have to check that out and get back to you.

Some toilets clog very easily and we always feel guilty if we’re the one who did it. Its one of life’s most embarrassing moments when you’re a guest at someone’s house and you have to tell them the toilet is clogged. Ugh. Some people keep a plunger by the toilet which tells you two things. clogs happen frequently and you can fix it yourself without telling anyone unless you get water all over the floor.


In our new house, not one clog in two years. It must be a better design. Or the pipes are bigger. I don’t know. I’m no plumber. I thing all of the guys who wear their pants below their behinds should be plumbers. They already have half of the skills down.

Check out my books and stand up comedy DVD at Amazon. Click here!

You can also get my books at Barnes and Noble by clicking here!

Connect with me on:

Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Seriously??? The toilet???

  1. Another great opening line.
    British humour is based around toilets, and my dear late dad who worked in the UK Fire Service had many cheerful tale about either having to unplug public toilets or in less sophisticated days flare ups caused explosions of methane gas in the sewers catching some hapless person in a most vulnerable situation. (that one still worried me)

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s