I Really Messed Up!!!

Note to self: When asked by you’re wife why you think you’ve been together for so many years, don’t mention anything about alimony.

Being comedians, my wife and I can say just about anything to each other without the other getting bludgeoned by a heavy object as is the case on a lot of crime shows that are real or scripted. As I look around the house, the heaviest object I can find is a Blu-ray disc. I don’t think that would inflict enough pain to ward off an attack unless it starred Chuck Norris or Bruce Willis. 

Liam Nissam might be a good choice too. Nail someone with a frisbee-like throw with either Taken movie or the three Die Hard movies and the person would be toast. I’m not sure they would call that bludgeoning. More like a freak accident. 

It would be tough in prison when a murderer asks me why I am in prison and I say I bludgeoned someone to death. “With what?” “A Blu-ray” “Player?” “Nope, disc.” Time to run away, fast and join a gang for protection, although it would have to be a nerd gang. I just don’t think they’d have the strength or street cred to keep the real gangs away.

Then again, it might work after all because what tough guy would want to admit that he beat up a nerd? Stick his head in a toilet or throw him in a laundry basket from time to time and they’re good to go. However the nerd gangs are probably the best at figuring out cunning ways to smuggle things in without getting caught. They might be the most powerful gang in the joint. 

They could protect anyone. If some bad dudes came after a nerd newbie, the nerd leader would just have to say “Back off, Bubba or no heroin for you.” Done. 

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