You’re drunk!!!

At a dinner party, a little girl kept staring at a man at the table. He finally asked her why she was staring at him. She said, “Mommy and Daddy said you drink like a fish so I was just waiting to see how you do it.” Wanna get away?

Kids can be brutally honest. They don’t know why they shouldn’t say something inappropriate or ask what we might consider a rude question. I’ve seen kids tell someone who is overweight, “Why are you fat”? The parents immediately want to disavow the child and pretend they belong to someone else.

The classic line, “I dont know where she gets this stuff”! Yeah right. Everyone knows exactly where they got it from. It reminds me of the scene in “A Christmas Story”, when Ralphy uses the big curse word in front of his father. The poor kid sat there with a bar of soap in his mouth while his mother grilled him about who taught him that word.

Even though he learned it from his Dad, he wisely decided not to go there. Instead, he chose to throw his buddy Schwartz under the bus. Good choice. You never want to be on the bad side of your old man. So Shwartz paid the price and never saw his punishment coming.

When I was little, my Dad was holding me and we were looking into the alley for some reason. Those were the days before shows like “Criminal Minds” were on and it was safe to take shortcuts through alleys. A large lady was walking past and my Dad said Hi and I said, “Wow, you’re fat!” My Dad did what any intelligent man would do under those circumstances. He ran. Smart move. I didn’t get in trouble because I was only about three years old so it was deemed a reasonable thing to say.

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