Stop Saying That!!!

I wish I was a parrot. They normally live a very long life, get lots of sunflower seeds and most everything they say is considered cute. Plus, chicks would dig me. 

I love sunflower seeds if they are salted. I enjoy picking them apart, spitting out the shell and eating the seed. Many people do this at professional baseball games, including players, coaches and managers. I always wonder who has to clean up that mess. I wouldn’t want that job. I assume that most of the cleanup involves a powerful hose but still, it’s got to be gross. 

I started to eat them the same way when Heather was away for a weekend. She was so ticked off at me for spitting the shells everywhere in the house but I survived. Barely. I got as much as I could with the vacuum but I still had to do tons of manual labor to get them all. I had to shampoo the carpets and mop every other floor in the house. That was two years ago and she’s just now beginning to talk to me again. 

I don’t care for the pre-shelled sunflower seeds. It makes me feel guilty because I didn’t have to work for them. I guess they are necessary for recipes, but I just can’t do it. Besides, there’s no salty taste to them and spitting the shells is most of the fun. I know it can be a disgusting habit but many people pick up the ritual because they either quit smoking or chewing tobacco. 

As for me, I’ll keep the habit going outside but will spit the shells in a bucket. If I’m at a baseball game though all bets are off. I just have to be sure not to spit them in the hair of the person seated in front of me. I’ve discovered they don’t like that very much. 

Parrots are much more clean when they do it. They just let the shells fall to the bottom of the cage where someone cleans it out. Ah, to be a parrot. 

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Facebook: Jerry Mabbott
Twitter: @jmabbott

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